There was a time in my life when even something as simple as taking a shower felt impossible.
Anxiety had taken over. My thoughts were constant, overwhelming, and exhausting. Living with OCD, I’ve always struggled with anxious thinking, but this time, it was different. The panic attacks became so intense that everyday tasks felt like mountains I couldn’t climb.
I turned to doctors and medication, hoping for relief, but nothing truly helped. In fact, I began to feel even more anxious and deeply depressed.
My doctors believed I needed to give the medication more time, and I tried to trust that. But as time went on, I still didn’t feel like myself.
Eventually, I made the personal decision to come off the medication. It wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t something I took lightly, but I felt like I needed a different path forward.
This was a personal decision in my own situation, and I know everyone’s journey is different. Please do not take this as medical advice. Always consult with your doctor and someone you trust.
During that time, my husband was a constant source of support. He stood by me through the panic, the uncertainty, and the fear, and supported me through the decisions I was trying to make for my own well-being. I didn’t have to walk through it alone, and I thank God every day for blessing me with such a supportive and loving husband.
And slowly, through prayer and leaning into God, I began to get better.
But as life started to feel more manageable, something shifted.
I didn’t stop believing in God, but I stopped actively seeking Him. I wasn’t praying the same way. I wasn’t leaning on Him daily. And without even realizing it, I began drifting.
Then the anxiety returned.
It started small, but quickly grew into something deeper. This time, it wasn’t just panic. It was intrusive thoughts about my faith. Doubt crept in, and it terrified me.
I remember thinking, If I’m having these thoughts… do I even believe? Why am I questioning God? What’s wrong with me?
My OCD was in full control again, and this time it was attacking the very foundation of my faith.
It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever been through.
And then, in the middle of that struggle, something unexpected happened.
I felt this strong pull to create a “Faith Over Fear” shirt.
Completely out of character, I acted on it. My husband helped me come up with the name Salvation’s Light, and in November 2025, it became real.
At first, I felt peace. But then the fear came rushing back.
I started questioning everything again. Am I really supposed to be doing this? Who am I to create Christian clothing? My faith isn’t strong enough.
I went from peace… right back into panic.
But I kept praying.
And through those prayers, through tears and doubt and exhaustion, two phrases came to me:
Carried Through the Chaos
Steady in the Storm
Those weren’t just designs.
They were reminders of what God had been showing me all along.
That even when my mind feels out of control… Even when doubt creeps in… Even when I feel weak in my faith… God is still holding me... and He never let go!
“Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.”
— Psalm 55:22 (NKJV)
If you’re going through a difficult time, where your thoughts feel overwhelming, where anxiety won’t let up, or where you’re even questioning your faith… you are not alone.
And having those thoughts does not mean your faith is gone. Remember, the devil will try to use fear and doubt to shake your faith. But with God on our side, we can stand in truth, knowing that the devil does not win.
Sometimes the battle in your mind is exactly where your faith is being strengthened.
I still don’t have everything figured out. I still have hard days.
But I have a peace now that I can’t fully explain. Not because everything is perfect, but because I know I’m not carrying it alone anymore.
And that’s where the message Carried Through the Chaos came from.
Not from having it all together…
But from learning to trust God in the middle of it.
A Reminder for You (and me)
You don’t have to be strong all the time.
You don’t have to have perfect faith.
You just have to keep turning back to Him, because we are not perfect, but His love for us is.
Even in the chaos.
A Prayer for You
Lord,
For the person reading this who feels overwhelmed, anxious, or unsure of their faith, I pray You meet them right where they are. Calm their mind, quiet their fears, and remind them that they are never alone. Help them to release what they’re carrying into Your hands and trust that You will sustain them. Even in the chaos, be their peace.
Amen.
If you’re really struggling, please don’t go through it alone. Pray on it, and reach out to someone you trust.